I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
