hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we should paint friendship bongs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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