I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
