I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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