he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize