why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
