HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
