I'm so fucking centered right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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