yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
