I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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