Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
