Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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