Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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