I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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