Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Farmville is her only friend.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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