So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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