Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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