You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
