i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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