She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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