she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
