Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize