Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
