Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
