i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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