i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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