R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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