Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
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Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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