Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
