That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize