At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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