if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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