He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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