I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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