She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize