too bad you live with your parents still
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
