I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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