I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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