I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
