I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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