half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
