She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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