so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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