I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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