it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
