wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
