Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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