Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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