Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
