But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let's get the cat blown out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
