evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
