So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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