If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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