I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize