My first STD was from a foam party
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize