he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
